Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
