i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
