I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
