im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
high people should be assigned attendants
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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