the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
