Non-Jews are for practice
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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