I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
