You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
