if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
