i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
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she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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