Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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