she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
