he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
