3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize