matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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