He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
