Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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