Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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