I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
