And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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