I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
