whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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