On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
"it" just moved
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
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I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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