He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
