You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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