im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize