super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
