no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
