I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Blood and glitter go together right?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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