You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
