dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
