stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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