We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize