I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
