Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
