do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
