Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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