I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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