All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
