Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
