there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
