i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
