Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
