my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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