His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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