why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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