Nicole vs. Life
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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