Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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