Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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