I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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