They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
