So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
