super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
