I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
