By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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