there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This is my gift to your gina
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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