For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
