just come out here and I will go home with you...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
