No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
