i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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